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Monday, September 2, 2013

The other side of success.

So it's been a long time since I last posted.  I think about doing it a lot. Life happened. this is a bit about why... I've been embarrassed.... but it's time to say it out loud. it's for my 12WBT 30+crew.

I want to share the other side of success.
For those you don’t know me … I’m one of your admins here. I’ve been on the 12WBT philosophy for 16 months . 4 official Rounds with 12WBT. Start weight was 206kg. I lost 65Kg in 1 year.

Current Weight 146.6kg.

Yup I gained weight…. Current loss 59.4Kg

It started about 6-8  weeks ago-I was 141kg – 2kg off cracking the 140’s I was ecstatic! 
Then it happened I gained 5kg.  I knew what it was- eating portions increased- training decreased.
Then I gained another 3kg.  bringing the gain to 8kg. I was sitting on 149.3 and thinking I’m less than  1kg from being back to 150Kg. that figure that I struggled with for months to crack.

How could I of let this happen? I’d lost 65kg, just 5 off 70kg… I was so proud of the changes I’d made, the interest in Nutrition, the freedom feeling of running…. Where did it go wrong?

I stopped and thought a lot about it. I remembered the very most important thing about weight loss. It’s not diet. It’s not training.  It’s not organisation or shopping lists. It’s my brain. My thought pattern.

Something personal had happened in my life at that time.  And then another, and another…. Until the focus of positive wellbeing had literally been shoved in the corner of a room to die a  slow death.

I found comfort in chocolate. In wine. In big portions of food. In couch laying. In misery.
I was turning back into the old me.

So last week I sat myself down and had a good talking to. (always an interesting thing to do ) I decided to stop wallowing. To start believing in me again. To make small and large goals. To remind myself WHY I do what I do. To remind myself of the toxic crap I’ve been eating. To remind myself that by overeating I’m growing my shrunken stomach. To look at myself I the mirror and see the loose skin, and saggy body, and remember why it now looks like this.  Cause I once believed in me. In the things I could achieve.  To believe I’m WORTH more than I was giving myself credit for. To remind me to LOVE me.
I’m far from perfect. I hope I’m never perfect. I’ve evolving daily and I love me like that.

I’ve lost 2.5 of those 8kg this week. I’m not sure how. Belief? Trust? Hope? Love …..?

I don’t have the answer or the tricks to hand on to all of us that struggle. I just know you have to belief in yourself. Give yourself a sense of WORTH. Know that you are capable of bigger and better things than right now…. It’ll take time-  so give yourself that gift.

I lost 65kg in a year.  I gained 8kg in 2 months. I will lose the next 50+KG over 2-3 years.

Be gentle to yourself. Be reasonable. Be hopeful. Be active. Be positive.

Be You.



  1. thankyou for sharing this Rach. I am where you were 6 weeks ago... I think I need to have that chat with myself before I gain more weight. I think sometimes the hardest person to be honest with is yourself...

    1. you are so welcome. it was hard to share this. but im glad i did. there is some power in admitting a place of error... it's not failure, just a small bump in this long transformation i have ahead of me :)

  2. I have a similar story from earlier this year. I had gone from 218.9 kilos to about 138 kilos in the space of about 18 months. I then stopped exercising and eating well and I gained back 20 kilos in about 5 months. I gave myself a last hurrah over Easter (ate all my Easter eggs lol)got back into exercise and eating well and have lost those 20 kilos and another 20 more. Losing weight and maintaining a healthy lifestyle is a non stop challenge and it can only be done like you say - by being gentle, reasonable, hopeful, active and positive.

    1. Well i'd love to hear more about your transformation, do you write a blog at all ? always nice to chat with people going through similar circumstances. Don't be shy :)

  3. WOW what a fantastic success story for you Annon.... Do we know each other? I'm not sure we do.... there's only a few girls over 200Kg i've met..and your story sounds unfamiliar. What an inspiration- to know it' possible to put that much on and then double the loss! well done and good luck on the rest of your transformation :)

    1. No I am pretty quiet on the 12wbt forums and 30+ facebook group. Good luck for the rest of your journey. ps I only commented as annoymous because I couldn't otherwise remember my log in details lol

  4. Thanks for this Rach, It's great to hear that you are taking it by the horns and running with it. I've been a slave to my own headgames lately so it's so reassuring to hear that I'm not the only one out there.
    Keep up the great work xoxo
    ~ Michelle