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Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Mount Panorama - Take 2!

If your a regular reader of my blog - you'll of read this . It was the first time i climbed Mother Mountain, and last Sunday i climbed it again.  Hot Lap of Mt Pan Take 2!

It feels as long as it looks!!

It was the Mini milestone for 12WBT week 4 round 4 and i smashed that mountain i beat my previous time of 1 hour 31 Min's 39 seconds  by 14 Min's and 15 seconds! So much more than i hoped! i would of been  happy with 30 seconds better cause it just means I've improved my fitness!


A PB and a new Time to beat ! YAY!

Stats for this time round were :-
6km in 1:17:24 burning  780 Calories!

I had a fabulous weekend at Bathurst sharing the mountain with old friends and making new ones.  There was 20 of us that walked together in total, and for most of them it was the first time they'd walked the hot lap.  i think each and every one of them plan to do it again! i can't wait...
I'm biting at the bit to get to the 1 hour time !!

View from our room at dusk on saturday


Staying at the Rydges on the Track for the first time was a bit hoot! the hotel was amazing, and the staff so accommodating having a big group drinking cocktails on a Saturday night, so many laughs, and so much fun!

The start Line! and we're off!!  Me and My shoes can do anything!             

Dianna was such an inspiration- she's lost 55Kg on 12WBT, and she ran and walked the mountain carrying 30Kg in weights!!

     I made it to the top!                        Running down- the end is in sight!     JUMPING over the finish line!

Those of us officially doing the 4th Round of 12WBT, posed for a photo to summit an entry for the 4 week mini milestone. we didn't win, but we don't care! we had such a great day!

On my drive back to Sydney I stopped in at a cute boutique in Bathurst- lets be honest i could of bought everything in the shop! But one little ring caught my eye and had to be mine- it was my gift to me for smashing that mountain!

It seeked me out, and spoke to me-
"paradise is where i am",  "passion", "peace", "magic", "joy", "create", "imagination", "life", "love", and most importantly "infinite courage".


 Counting down the days till the next hot lap :)
The 21 of us that conquered the hot lap !

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Fear is my prison.....

It's a funny thing Fear.... and actually there's nothing humorous about it at all. It rears it's head in unexpected places, lays dormant ready to pounce at any given moment.

When i started 12WBT -7 months ago i had nothing but fear in my mind. Fear of failure, Fear of disappointment, fear of the unknown, Fear of walking, fear of exercise, fear of fear it's self!

As time went on a lot of the fears subsided, because i showed myself that i beat the fear, conquered the thing I feared most.

I've lost nearly 50Kg in 7 months - BIG fear conquered. Yes Rach you can actually loose weight in a relatively easy way by treating your body with respect, nurturing your mind, fueling your body with good nutrition.
It's not magic... just conquered fear!

I walked/jogged the Sydney harbour bridge in 2012.  BIG fear challenged met face to face, and smashed!
I climbed Mt Panorama (and im about to do it again in a few days) BIG fear met and Smashed!
I walked 1000+ bloody grueling, mind bending steps in the blue mountains - HUGEEEE fear! faced & SMASHED!

But what are the fears i don't talk about?
The fear of life failure. The fear of never amounting to anything. The fear of never being loved. The fear of debt beyond imagination, The fear of family upset. The fear of not being good enough. The fear of not making those closest to me proud.

All these fears are my prison. They keep me close minded. They keep me guarded. The keep me from jumping (metaphorically) off the ledge. The keep me from being my True Self. 

Each and Every day I learn new things about me, and the changes i'm going through in Mind, body & Spirit.
Last night it was the realisation that in fact Fear is my prison. Today things make sense. Life is clearer. My Mind is open.
I won't lie- I still feel like fear of  "but what will..... (happen), (they say), (She think) (he do next)" clouds my head.
But in realising that it's the fear that holds me here i hope to start working on clearing it. Leaping! Doing not thinking! Being not dreaming about it!

 From today i make a step forward towards Living a life without FEAR......

Monday, December 3, 2012

A new day...

Today marks a special day for me. 

The day i drew a line in the sand.
The day i start to look forward and not backwards.
The day i take the first step and acknowledge my wrong doings.
The day i put me first, and heal my ills.
The day i take responsibility for my own actions.
The day i ask myself before each decision "will this send me forwards or backwards?"

It's time to "fix" me.

It's time for my blue self to piss off, and my RED SELF to emerge.

It's My Time.

Strength Lies Within


Friday, November 30, 2012


No matter how good a day is- there's always a bad day waiting around the corner when you have a broken heart. Then a good day.... then another bad..and so on.
I can't predict which emotion today will bring. I'm out of control of my own feelings.

I've been staring at that sentence for about 4 hours now. No. Control. it's ok to not have control isn't it? it's ok if i say it's ok. right ?

I learnt something during a workshop a few weeks ago that i think we all know anyway- but hearing it out loud made me sit, listen, and take it in. It made so much sense to me.

In life you will get "feathers" little warnings or messages to take notice of, as humans we will ignore the feathers, disregard them as not important. 
Then we get "rocks". Rocks will come with more force than the feathers - a little more annoying than the feather, but in a busy lifestyle they will not seam important, and are easily ignored.
The next natural progression is the "trucks". Trucks are the end. They are as serious as the moment will get- and frankly un-ignorable. 

I got my truck 3 weeks ago. 9th November 2012. It was my 6th year anniversary of meeting my soul mate. We'd been married 13 months & 1 day.

The feathers had come and gone, the rocks had been thrown. All that was left was the truck and it had arrived. "without warning".

It's the interesting thing about trucks... they do come with warning. I'd chosen to ignore or forgive the warnings, cause generally life is ok. Why rock the boat? I have love, I give and receive it. I have plans for the future. 

Every things ok ...right?


Everything that's happened since the truck arrived has been an emotional and physical toll. I'm not sure how to feel in control again, or even if i ever will.

Will i ever feel like i have taken the power back you stole?

I will promise myself to look out for the feathers from this point on, because trucks are to hard to deal with.

So what's next?

Wednesday, November 28, 2012


Feel, caress, be aware of, explore, be convinced, believe, appear, resemble, consider, sense, bleed for, try, test, endure, enjoy, have, finish, surface, fancy, desire, pity, vibes, grope, fumble, finger, paw, strike, air, ambiance, quality, impression, feeling.... (Sorce -The Collins thesaurus)

Every feeling, every emotion, every movement is with great purpose right now. 

I'm walking through liquid, sticky, unsteady Marshmallow with a dense fog hanging above.

I feel sad

I feel overwhelmed

I feel unsure

I feel like the future holds something wonderful

I feel like my chest is so heavy i will fall over

I feel like I've run out of tears, and then they flow

I feel guilt for the moments when I feel happy, glad, when I Laugh/smile or in a moment of optimism

I feel honest with others, but not myself.

I feel lonely, when I'm in a room full of people

I feel proud of my self, often but not always

I feel robbed of an oppourtunity to change

I feel like i had the opportunity to change but i ignored it

I feel healthier than i did 6 months ago

I feel empowered  (some days)

I feel lost
I feel heart-broken

I feel defeated

I feel guilty for my past

I feel ownership of my mistakes

I feel exhausted

I feel grateful for friendships, near and far

I feel .... and it hurts

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Reflection on the year that (almost) been ...

I was on my way to work this morning thinking about my beautiful friend Jackson who's almost finished his HSC ! I can't believe how quick the year as flown by- it will be Xmas in 9 weeks!

Anyway it had me thinking about the Year, and what has surprisingly happened to me, without notice or warning... when i woke up on January 1st 2012 i never imagined the events that would occur this year...

So in no particular order...

  • I'd loose over 40kg 
  • I'd walk 4km over the Sydney harbor bridge 
  • I'd be an inspiration to others
  • I'd make dozens of new friends who are focused and fabulous 
  • Walk the 1000 stairs in Katoomba, and face my biggest mental challenge to date.  
  • Enter, and attempt the Raw Challenge (Ok so i only did about 5 of the 28 challenges- but i will do it again and conquer them all)
  • Walked Mt Panorama -7km in under an hour (just) and burnt 1000 cals. (watch this space for my second attempt at Mt Pan in December)
  • Signed up for more than i ever could imagined fun runs! (4 and counting)
  • LOVE exercise! (bizarre)
  • Walk 2-3km every lunch time
  • I'd start saving my life ♥

I don't remember what my New Year’s resolutions were on that day, but I'm excited to plan my 2013 resolutions :)