The other side of success.

So it's been a long time since I last posted.  I think about doing it a lot. Life happened. this is a bit about why... I've been embarrassed.... but it's time to say it out loud. it's for my 12WBT 30+crew.

I want to share the other side of success.

For those you don’t know me … I’m one of your admins here. I’ve been on the 12WBT philosophy for 16 months . 4 official Rounds with 12WBT. Start weight was 206kg. I lost 65Kg in 1 year.

Current Weight 146.6kg.

Yup I gained weight…. Current loss 59.4Kg

It started about 6-8  weeks ago-I was 141kg – 2kg off cracking the 140’s I was ecstatic! 

Then it happened I gained 5kg.  I knew what it was- eating portions increased- training decreased.

Then I gained another 3kg.  bringing the gain to 8kg. I was sitting on 149.3 and thinking I’m less than  1kg from being back to 150Kg. that figure that I struggled with for months to crack.

How could I of let this happen? I’d lost 65kg, just 5 off 70kg… I was so proud of the changes I’d made, the interest in Nutrition, the freedom feeling of running…. Where did it go wrong?

I stopped and thought a lot about it. I remembered the very most important thing about weight loss. It’s not diet. It’s not training.  It’s not organisation or shopping lists. It’s my brain. My mindset.my thought pattern.

Something personal had happened in my life at that time.  And then another, and another…. Until the focus of positive wellbeing had literally been shoved in the corner of a room to die a  slow death.

I found comfort in chocolate. In wine. In big portions of food. In couch laying. In misery.

I was turning back into the old me.

So last week I sat myself down and had a good talking to. (always an interesting thing to do ) I decided to stop wallowing. To start believing in me again. To make small and large goals. To remind myself WHY I do what I do. To remind myself of the toxic crap I’ve been eating. To remind myself that by overeating I’m growing my shrunken stomach. To look at myself I the mirror and see the loose skin, and saggy body, and remember why it now looks like this.  Cause I once believed in me. In the things I could achieve.  To believe I’m WORTH more than I was giving myself credit for. To remind me to LOVE me.

I’m far from perfect. I hope I’m never perfect. I’ve evolving daily and I love me like that.

I’ve lost 2.5 of those 8kg this week. I’m not sure how. Belief? Trust? Hope? Love …..?

I don’t have the answer or the tricks to hand on to all of us that struggle. I just know you have to belief in yourself. Give yourself a sense of WORTH. Know that you are capable of bigger and better things than right now…. It’ll take time-  so give yourself that gift.

I lost 65kg in a year.  I gained 8kg in 2 months. I will lose the next 50+KG over 2-3 years.

Be gentle to yourself. Be reasonable. Be hopeful. Be active. Be positive.

Be You.

xxxxx

Making the impossible, Possible....

Week 9 Round 1 2013 challenge....

My 3rd round is coming to a close & a message for my big sister :)

9 months ..... in 1 week it'll be 9 months and 50+ kg gone.

My life has done a 360 to say the least, in 9 short months.

Round , 2013... There's something special in the air this year-  round one will be my 4th round, and by the end it will see me at my first "healthaversary"  whilst that's so scary, it's bloody exciting too! 

One thing I'm really excited about for round 1, 2013, is that my sister is going to join me on a 12wbt life change.I'm so excited for her.  I know what a huge step this was for her, not only cause i know her well, but I've been there, i remember having to make that decision, the leap...and it wasn't easy.

So to my beautiful Sister,

Nothing about changing everything in your life is easy, and don't underestimate this on any level ...
It's. HARD. but ohhhhh SO worth it!

The mental changes you will go through, will surpass the physical ones to begin with.... it's an experience, it's life changing, and it's all kinds of freaking AWESOME!

Darling Big sister ... enjoy this moment and take LOTS of photos in this body you don't love so much right now- cause let me tell you in a few short months-  you will be the best that you can be, and it will be awesome !!   I'm already so proud of you for taking this leap of faith , and I'll be here for you every step of the way even though we are hundreds of miles away.

You're a mum of two beautiful babies, and a wife, and a daughter, and a sister.  You've GOT THIS !

All my love, encouragement, love & light

Me xxxx

A quarter of the woman i once was is gone....

I've been writing this post in my head for weeks now, just waiting for today to happen. So now it's here it should be easy right? .... wrong - it's so hard.. i feel so weird....i've been waiting for this moment for 32 weeks- reaching a mini milestrone, the 1/2 way mark.. and now it's here?!?

It's been 32 weeks since i started this life change with www.12wbt.com and yet it feels like years some days, and weeks others. All in all,  the last  8 months have been fun, tiring, exhilarating, life changing, new habits forming and inspiring. It's been 8 months full of proud moments, struggle moments, sadness, happiness, mostly good food choices with a few bad thrown in.
Mostly I've learnt alot about me. Things i like but never thought to try, my limits and how fun it is to push them. That I'm not as fearful as i thought i was, and that  i .can.do.anything!!

So what are the stats?
I've gone from size 30/32 to a size 18/20



Week 1 (June 2012)

 Chest (cm) 154

Waist (cm) 155

Hips (cm) 176

 
Week 32 (January 2013)

Chest (cm)131 (23 smaller)

Waist (cm)121 (34 smaller)

Hips (cm) 151 (25 smaller)

So what does 50kg look like for me?

My Face Changes

Week 8 (-10kg)                                                                                Week 32 (-50kg)

 So thats it! 1/2 way to loosing 100Kg !

See ya 50KG !!!!

Fear is my prison.....

It's a funny thing Fear.... and actually there's nothing humorous about it at all. It rears it's head in unexpected places, lays dormant ready to pounce at any given moment.

When i started 12WBT -7 months ago i had nothing but fear in my mind. Fear of failure, Fear of disappointment, fear of the unknown, Fear of walking, fear of exercise, fear of fear it's self!

As time went on a lot of the fears subsided, because i showed myself that i beat the fear, conquered the thing I feared most.

I've lost nearly 50Kg in 7 months - BIG fear conquered. Yes Rach you can actually loose weight in a relatively easy way by treating your body with respect, nurturing your mind, fueling your body with good nutrition.
It's not magic... just conquered fear!

I walked/jogged the Sydney harbour bridge in 2012.  BIG fear challenged met face to face, and smashed!
I climbed Mt Panorama (and im about to do it again in a few days) BIG fear met and Smashed!
I walked 1000+ bloody grueling, mind bending steps in the blue mountains - HUGEEEE fear! faced & SMASHED!

But what are the fears i don't talk about?
The fear of life failure. The fear of never amounting to anything. The fear of never being loved. The fear of debt beyond imagination, The fear of family upset. The fear of not being good enough. The fear of not making those closest to me proud.

All these fears are my prison. They keep me close minded. They keep me guarded. The keep me from jumping (metaphorically) off the ledge. The keep me from being my True Self. 


Each and Every day I learn new things about me, and the changes i'm going through in Mind, body & Spirit.
Last night it was the realisation that in fact Fear is my prison. Today things make sense. Life is clearer. My Mind is open.
I won't lie- I still feel like fear of  "but what will..... (happen), (they say), (She think) (he do next)" clouds my head.
But in realising that it's the fear that holds me here i hope to start working on clearing it. Leaping! Doing not thinking! Being not dreaming about it!


 From today i make a step forward towards Living a life without FEAR......

Reflection on the year that (almost) been ...

I was on my way to work this morning thinking about my beautiful friend Jackson who's almost finished his HSC ! I can't believe how quick the year as flown by- it will be Xmas in 9 weeks!

Anyway it had me thinking about the Year, and what has surprisingly happened to me, without notice or warning... when i woke up on January 1st 2012 i never imagined the events that would occur this year...

So in no particular order...

• I'd loose over 40kg 
• I'd walk 4km over the Sydney harbor bridge 
• I'd be an inspiration to others
• I'd make dozens of new friends who are focused and fabulous 
• Walk the 1000 stairs in Katoomba, and face my biggest mental challenge to date.  
• Enter, and attempt the Raw Challenge (Ok so i only did about 5 of the 28 challenges- but i will do it again and conquer them all)
• Walked Mt Panorama -7km in under an hour (just) and burnt 1000 cals. (watch this space for my second attempt at Mt Pan in December)
• Signed up for more than i ever could imagined fun runs! (4 and counting)
• LOVE exercise! (bizarre)
• Walk 2-3km every lunch time
• I'd start saving my life ♥

I don't remember what my New Year’s resolutions were on that day, but I'm excited to plan my 2013 resolutions :)